Good morning ladies and gentlemen,
    Welcome aboard Axis of Evil Tours flight 911.
    -- providing Americans with once-in-a-lifetime vacations
        in the Axis of Evil countries

    On behalf of your Captain and Axis of Evil Tours
    I'd would like to thank you for being
    the lucky, final travelers on this tour:
       Iraq: Breakfast in Baghdad.
    You'll have a chance to see this beautiful city,
    said to be the oldest living city in the world,
    before we bomb it back to the stone age.

    Please take a moment to read the safety cards
    in the seat pockets in front of you,
    to familiarize yourself with the safety features
    of this Rockwell B-1 bomber.
    In the event of emergency, oxygen masks and chem suits
    will deploy from the overhead bins.

    We'd like to announce some specials we have coming up.

    Be sure to check back with us soon for our upcoming tour of the rebuilt city
    -- New Baghdad: City of Commerce.
    Advance discount tickets available for Halliburton and Bechtel employees!

    We are also pleased to announce:
    Kimchee in The Koreas
    Yes, visit P'yongyang, North Korea and Seoul, South Korea in this
    budget-stretcher, two-for-one sale.
    Even though Seoul is not in an Axis of Evil country,
    we are offering this limited time tour,
    since you never know WHERE that wacky Kim Jong-il
    will point his nukes after we level P'yongyang.

    Stay tuned to our website for special web deals
    on last minute tours of Hollywood, CA.

    Also, don't miss:

    Iran: The Future Lost City of Tehran
    Get in early on this little-known tour!
    Few know about the opportunity to beat the crowds for what promises to be the
    sleeper Axis of Evil tour of the year.
    Some time after the re-purposing of Baghdad,
    we just know that extant Tehran is going to be
    on the tour lists of everyone who matters!
    See the wonders of Tehran before everyone else,
    and before ... well, we can't tell you yet!

    And, just added!
      Relics of Old Europe: Paris, France and Berlin, Germany
        See these irrelevant cities while you can!

    Sit back, enjoy the flight,
    and thank you for flying Axis of Evil Tours!